a bittersweet symphony of life

2011-06-26T23:18:00.000-07:00

manado

woa, my friend shared me this link on Facebook http://aci.detik.travel/

wakatobi

I have been obsessed to visit every places in Indonesia and it gives me hope. I've been trying to start traveling but it seems that budget and parents' permission and tight schedule always stop me. It's kinda stressing me out.

danau toba

Looking at the pictures of exquisite Indonesia has always been breath taking. I want to see the scenery with my own eyes, I want to explore every inch of the city, I want to taste thousands of different culinary, I want to enjoy the cultural diversity in every city.

sate bali

It is some kind of dilemma, tho, to choose Europe and Indonesia. But now I'm pretty sure to choose Indonesia. I'll save each cent of my money to discover every inch of the incredible Indonesia. I hope I am chosen in this ACI program.

lembeh strait

Well if I'm chosen, I'll go eventhough I have to postpone a semester of my study. Wish me luck!!

ngarai sianok

2011-04-15T11:53:00.000-07:00

call me arrogant
call me freak
call me creepy
call me weirdo

i am what i am
i just don't wanna be the way most people are
i am different am unique

and you just haven't understood it yet

2011-01-18T06:31:00.000-08:00

"Engkaulah Matahariku, dan aku adalah Bumi yang takjub."

2011-01-15T07:36:00.000-08:00

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.

1 Corinthians 10:23-24

2011-01-15T05:16:00.000-08:00

"Like a hurricane there's calm in your eye
and I'm gettin blown away."

- Neil Young

2011-01-14T23:05:00.000-08:00

When I take a path no one has taken before and they say: "Why do you choose that path? No one has ever taken it before and you don't know what's at the end of it!"

I would say: "is it dead-end? is it the destination I want? is it somewhere else? or is it a whole new place no one has ever been? why won't I be the first to see what's at the end of the road so that the others can take this path too some other time?"

2011-01-14T22:56:00.000-08:00

source: buttonlust.tumblr.com

2011-01-14T13:25:00.001-08:00

whoaa it's been like ages since the last time i updated my blog.

it's 4.24 a.m and i haven't asleep. i just got home from my workshop; slept there for a few hours but was woken up by a swarm of mosquitoes and realized my friends had gone home and i'm all alone at the workshop. so i ended up going home and can't fall asleep surfing the internet randomly.

soo... my hippie friend tweeted a link at tweeter: http://www.templeofsacredsound.org/
and since he is an eccentric and philosophic one - he seems to be very interested in hindu and buddha - i opened the link.

such an interesting site, i guess. it says "We can transform the world with Our Love, Our Light, and Our Sound!" it got 3 different 'Tombs' and each plays different chants: Om, Ah, Hu. While you're listening to it, you can watch a video playing a transforming lights and patterns. Hypnotizing.

Drown in the chants at these hours making it more perfect. I remember my lecturer said: "our Muslim brothers starts the 5-time-prayer at 4.30 am. Why? I have a habit: waking up every 4 in the morning and read a book i'm reading. it's the perfect time to read because it's when the world is taking a breath and everything's calm. It's the perfect time to get closer to our God."

He was right, I agree.

2010-12-14T06:55:00.000-08:00

Upbeat

You enjoy being around others and others enjoy being around you. You have a "live and let live" attitude; because you know that no one's perfect, you are forgiving and happy to give the benefit of the doubt.

You don't feel the need to be controversial or express contrary opinions all the time. You see no reason to go around rubbing people the wrong way.

Passionate

You are in touch with your emotions, and sometimes you react before you think. The good news: you don't tamp down your feelings. The bad news: you sometimes say or do things that you later wish you could take back.

You do not live your life on an even keel; you do not go for long periods without experiencing some mood swings.

Aesthetic

You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.

You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

Sympathetic

You have a knack for knowing what's going on in the hearts and minds of those around you, without their having to tell you explicitly. People tend to turn to you with their problems because they know you care, and that you will likely offer good advice and a helping hand.

You do not feel that people with sad stories are just looking for attention, or have brought their problems upon themselves.

Curious

You like to get to the bottom of things. You're not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.

You don't simply take things as they are and move on; you're not content skimming along on the surface; you don't feel you're wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.

Scrupulous

You are an honest, fair person. You don't lie or cheat to get ahead. You treat others with respect and hope for the same in return.

You do not feel that you are above the rules that everyone else follows; you are definitely not willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead.

Tender

You are gentle with others, both physically and emotionally. You are careful not to upset people and go out of your way to find the nicest way to say something. You naturally focus on the fact that the world is full of wonderful people, places, and things. More often than not, people with a high score on the "tender" trait enjoy spending time with children, love romantic movies, and are enthusiastic about making the world a better place.

You don't think of yourself as tough-minded or gruff, nor do you need to be seen as some kind of objective source of truth and rationality.

Introspective

You like your own company; you're a very interesting person. Tracking your own mental processes, knowing what you're thinking and why you do what you do, is important to you. Often, what's going on in your mind is more compelling than what's going on outside. For the most part, those with a high score on the "introspective" trait enjoy reading, taking long walks, learning new things, and other solitary activities.

You are not someone who is constantly looking to be among a group of friends; you never feel bored when you are by yourself.

Original

You are constantly coming up with new ideas. For you, the world as it exists is just a jumping-off place; what's going on inside your mind is often more interesting than what's going on outside.

You don't feel that the road to success is to be a realist and stick to the program; you never stop yourself from coming up with new ideas or telling the world what you're thinking about.

Reserved

You are somewhat shy, or at least unwilling to spend all your time socializing. With you it's true that "still waters run deep," which is why many of your acquaintances never get to know you well.

You are not always ready to talk at the drop of a hat. Whether you're in the office or at a party, you're not likely to be found gabbing away in the middle of a group of people.

2010-12-08T16:07:00.000-08:00

I've made up my mind
Don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong, I am right
Don't need to look no further
This ain't lust
I know this is love

-Adele

2010-11-24T16:25:00.000-08:00

"Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

- Matthew 7:1-2

2010-11-24T08:26:00.000-08:00

the worst feeling ever is not knowing whether you should wait or give up

2010-11-24T07:57:00.000-08:00

William Shakespeare said "expectation is the root of all heartache."

But, we can't live without expectation. Then, life is all about having expectations and dreams, hurt, and we, however, keep moving on despite the ache , isn't it?

2010-11-14T08:31:00.000-08:00

you're just so random as always.
how should i believe you?
which part of you should i believe?

2010-11-14T03:54:00.001-08:00

i wonder why Priests and Hajj preach like as if they're goin into a war? are you spreading God's words or provocative words?

i don't like priests who pray for others unequally and still dare telling us to love each other equally.

doing half-evil things is worse than that of whole-evil things.

nostalgia(2)

2010-11-13T23:18:00.000-08:00

nostalgia (1)

2010-11-13T08:19:00.000-08:00

slapped

2010-11-11T06:23:00.000-08:00

hmmmpphhh...

i feel like God has slapped me.
i just can't content myself since the minute i walk out from my room right until this second. i'm overwhelmed with guilt.

so, it was when i just closed the door and walk a few meters from my house when an old man - he's a little bit fat - called me. he said:"son, please give me some food, i am very hungry." surprised, i just nodded my head and smiled while my feet kept walking. i felt a little pity for him but i just kept rationalizing my mind by saying "that's fine. millions begged and i don't even know if he's honest. what if he just pretended being poor?"

the routine of my mornings is picking kines up at her house and then dea, and the three of us will go to the campus together. so after i'd waited for kines for a while, she came up and we started to walk to dea's house.

BUT, just a few step we had walked, a man with a black plastic bag in his right hand ,about 27 years old, approached me. "son, are you busy? can you help me for a while?" he asked me. i was not that in a hurry so i just said yes. He then offered me his black plastic bag, "i have this 5 kilos of rice, would you please buy it?" i was confused. i know he is in trouble, and the scene was just like in a reality show named "TOLONG!". and i also have untouched rice in my room. i spontaneously said sorry to him that i can't buy it because i have lots of rice in my house and i haven't eaten it yet. he looked so disappointed and he was just about to CRY!! he then told me: "okay, that's fine. my wife was about to give birth and i couldn't pay the hospital." and he walked away! i was speechless and i just could stare at him walking away.

all the way to the campus, i mused.

what happened to me this morning?! i just started the day and there had been two people asked me to helped them and i just rejected them! am i heartless or what? moreover the second man. what if something bad happen to his wife because he couldn't pay the midwife? and if it really happened, it was because of me ignoring him.

then an idea just popped up in my mind: i could have bought the rice and gave it to the man begging for food! or at least i could give the money to the man without taking the rice! fool me!!

well i hope they're fine right now. i hope the old man can eat i hope the man's wife can give birth safely and so the newborn baby and he could pay the fee. sorry for not helping you :(

we're smarter than you guys! :P

2010-11-07T05:14:00.000-08:00

Now I can feel how art students and engineering students are different.

We had a congratulating party for our seniors yesterday after graduation ceremony. The party was made by the youngest class which is my class, 2010. Well, the party was failed. But I did have an unforgettable moment on the welcoming of the graduates. It was true that we, art students, are brutal.

On the welcoming, each majors stood in each row, with their own preparation and shouting their own yells. FYI, there are 9 engineering majors at Itenas, while there are only 3 art and design majors which are Product Design, Visual Communication Design, and Interior Design. And, compared to them our students are much less and half of them are girls, unlike them which is like 90% of the are boys. So, we were truly lose in amount and voice.

What interesting was it was we who gained attention from people. Yes, they were much louder. We were much more creative and smart, tho. More than 1000 engineering students in their own black organizational uniforms lifted their hand and shouted loudly. But, around 200 of us shouted with our costumes, we danced, we sang, we played music.

our "dancer"

Art and Design majors have always had tradition to be creative and out of ordinary. We always have our own themes for welcoming graduates party. This year my major Product Design took ALOHA, Visual Communication Design took Halloween, and Interior Design took Sundanese. We never care what people think about us. All we care is that we have fun.They might think we are crazy, impolite, unethical, and stupid. But, right there, we proved who were smarter.

Visual Communication Design students

We at first shouted at the same time the engineers shouted. And the result was as what we had expected, we lose. So, we had our own strategy. We sat, and shut our mouth when engineers shouted without taking a glance on them. When they were taking breath, we shouted our yell as loud as we can, hit our drums and gamelan as hard as we can, danced as attractive as we can. As we started to get tired we would sit again and let them shout. We would shouted again when they started getting tired.

And, what made it crazier is that we were not just shouting our yells. We read a PRAYER and sang NATIONAL SONGS loudly! It was great to see that they couldn't fight back and they just shouted "sampah sampah sampah". And we read another prayer and, again, they couldn't shout back! HAHAH!

leading the "choir"

That gave me conclusion, tho:
Engineering students have always been boasting themselves that they are intelligent, smart and logical. And looked down on Art and Design as a stupid, illogical, ignorant, and crazy people. But, in fact, we were much smarter and logical. Yes we are brutal, but we have the art of brutality and not conservative like engineers. We were just people who are blessed with perfection in the balance of imagination and logic, art and science :D

2010-11-07T04:30:00.000-08:00

Men have always been looked down for being childish, immature, liar, heartless, bla bla bla. Am just sick for always hearing that hypocrisy of women.

I think the era has changed. May be this is what people call female emancipation: women, in fact, are not better than men. They are not less childish, ignorant, heartless, liar, bipolar, unstable, got no commitment.

I think it's just an outdated women who still think about men lowly and praise women's balanced emotional sensitivity, commitment and maturity - which are just a few women have that character.

well, a little reference right here.

And this video might be the perfect speech.

2010-10-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

there's one second right there, in your life, that blinds you and it changes your life - your whole life.

2010-10-22T04:32:00.000-07:00

...

hanya satu pintaku
tuk memandang langit biru
dalam dekap ayah dan ibu.

apabila ini
hanya sebuah mimpi
ku selalu berharap
dan tak pernah terbangun

...

2010-10-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

the old-school romance is much more beautiful than how most people love (or like) each other today.

we won't be able to feel the real sensation of falling in love if we easily and keep changing the person we admire. once we know he/she doesn't has no feeling for us then we leave him/her without giving any struggle to catch the person.

or straightforwardly showing our feeling like a maniac saying his/her name like every one minute at social-networking sites, at our books, or our table.

i think i love the way how people keep secret the one they have a crush on from people, especially from the one they admire. i love the way how people trying to get the heart whom they love slowly, secretly, mysteriously. i mean, it's just the sensation right there i love, the feeling like your chest gonna explode, biting your lip when you fail with the approach, trying to get closer without wanting the person to know that you fall in love with him/her.

the anti-social me

2010-10-20T06:49:00.000-07:00

alright. it's been a month i study here in Itenas and everything goes pretty well i can say. since the first week and i was pretty stressed out for having no friends, now i've had pretty many of them - not so many, tho.

but, there's just one thing i find it hard to let go: the anti-social me. not a real anti-social, may be individualist is a better word to describe. i don't know why i feel like an anti-social. i spend most of my days alone. i work alone in my table while others chat and joke around. i go home alone while others hang out somewhere. i stay in my own room by myself while others gather and laugh a lot in the other room.

may be i'm too much an individualist? but i'm not that individualist. i hang out much with my friends back then in high school. or is it me that can't adapt and go along well with my new friends? may be.

2010-10-11T08:07:00.000-07:00

i always say i can live without you, but in the end i'll always go back to you.

sorry dad, mom.

2010-10-03T04:12:00.000-07:00

when waiting makes everything worse and speaking straightforwardly creates disaster, what should i do?

2010-09-28T05:42:00.000-07:00

I love being religious and so the religious people. But when it comes about those who keep relating everything in this world to God, or their religion, it's sickening.

Jakarta is sinking because we're getting farther from God? Come on! it's 2010! no wonder Indonesia is lagging behind!

Even you doubt that it's fine for non-Islam people to talk in Arabian! Arab is not all about Islam! The civilization developed there and so with other religions!

2010-09-24T20:10:00.000-07:00

"Siapa yang berhak menilai kebaikan kita? Mengapa kita melebihi Tuhan dalam menghakimi sesama?"

-Alex Tata, Kompas

Wakatobi, Southeast of Celebes

2010-09-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

another place I definitely want to go after Raja Ampat! Well, it has a more beautiful undersea (it is said to have 85% of world's coral species), but Raja Ampat has a better view and panaronama, tho.

They even have the fluorescent diving! with a certain kind of light all the corals, fish, and other specieses down there become a theater of light! how will you reject its offer to enjoy the beauty of pre-historic age?

grateful I was not accepted at ITB

2010-09-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

thanks God for not letting me go to San Francisco
thanks God for showing me the way to Bandung
thanks God for not putting me into ITB
thanks God for putting me into Itenas
thanks God for the great lecturers
thanks God for the amazing lectures since the first day at Itenas

I don't know what's Your plan
I don't know how You're working on me
I don't know how You see my future

but I'm grateful for everything I have until today
I'm grateful for all the journey I've gone through

I believe You have a great plan on me.

I DO REALLY LOVE ITENAS!! I'VE MET THE GREATEST TEACHERS OF ALL!!

2010-09-24T07:45:00.001-07:00

"Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off"
-Proverbs 23:18

2010-09-24T04:41:00.000-07:00

Praying doesn't make you a saint any more than standing in an airport makes you an airplane
-Paulo Coelho

2010-09-22T04:10:00.001-07:00

it is the 4th day and i think i had made a pretty good progress.

this afternoon after class we hanged out at workshop. most of the boys and 2 girls. just played around and had fun. (in fact, most of us couldn't go home as it was raining heavily and we were trapped at the workshop with a horribly hungry stomach.)

we moved to a cheap small restaurant when the rain stopped. there were 12 of us. i tried to jumped in so that i could know them better and making friends with the other people i hadn't know.

well, it didn't go pretty good. it's hard for me to join the conversation. and worse, they used sundanese frequently that i didn't understand them. but it went better as our conversation went farther, tho. i could join the conversation and we laughed together. pretty fun. it was like 1-1,5 hour until we moved to the workshop again to meet some of our seniors.

overall, everything went pretty good. i got pretty many friends at once. such a progress for me! yet, there's something i gotta pay to make friends, i think: my health. i just can't imagine hanging out with them all the time. there are 36 students in my class and 8 of them are women meaning 28 the rest are men. and, it is like around 20 of the men smoke. they smoke whenever they got time, during the break, or when we're hanging out afterclass. and for this first time, i couldn't stop coughing, i kept holding my breath and blowing the smokes. and when i got home, even until now, my throat feels terrible! i just can't imagine i will be with them for 4 years. how my lungs will be?

2010-09-22T03:53:00.001-07:00

“Pernah kau berpikir kawan? kalau terkadang kekayaan adalah kutukan.
itu yang sering aku pikirkan tentang bumi ini.. tentang bangsa ini.. dan tentang kampung halamanku ini. semua milik kami tidak pernah betul-betul kami nikmati.
Kami disini hanya menjadi penonton. atau hanya menjadi kuli. bahkan kesalahan orang yang mengeruk tanah kamipun harus kami yang menanggungnya.” - Sang Pemimpi, 2010

2010-09-22T03:26:00.000-07:00

i think strong people are not those who are physically strong, not those who can lift up to the heaviest weigh, not those who can fight with many people alone, not those who can beat another person in just one punch, and so on. instead, i think the strongest person is the one who can live alone. what i mean alone is, alone-no one wants him and he has no one to lean on.

i think the strong people are those who are bullied, unwanted, deserted, and abandoned, but still alive. those who can carry all the sorrow, sadness, loneliness, hatred, happiness, love, all by himself without having no one to share with, but still loving and caring.

and, therefore, i'm obviously weak. i'm a weakling. i can't stand being solitary. i can't stand having no one beside me. i can't stand having no one to talk to and to share all my feelings.

hence, i really appreciate those who are strong. eventhough no one recognizes them.

can i survive?

2010-09-21T04:59:00.000-07:00

it's been the 5th day i moved to bandung.

all new environment. new society. new people. new rules. new culture. new blahblahblah...

i'm a bit stressed out right here. i know it's still in Indonesia and it's nothing like a remote city out of Java or even some other countries. the fact is that it is just a few hundred kilometer away from Jakarta and one of the largest city in Indonesia.

yet, still, i find it really different from my last environment, where it is like 99% of my friends are pretty the same with me. they have the same religion, the same way of making friends, hanging out, flirting, cultures, and so on. my campus is still in Indonesia and it feels like somewhere in another country. i feel like i'm an alien.

it has been hard for me in adapting myself into new societies. but this one's much harder than i thought. like, boys smoke, like 95 percent of them and i don't. those who smoke have chance to get to know each other better, but since i can't stand being among horrible smokes, i don't join in therefore it's hard for me to know them.

it's been the third day at campus and i just knew 6 people. can i survive in this 4 year college?

2010-09-19T06:28:00.000-07:00

i am serious about saving up money up to 50million rupiah. Well, I know I won't have it in just 1 or 2 years. even if i can save like 200K per month, it will be just 2,4million per year meaning it needs 20 years to reach 50million.

but, of course, i will have my own income sooner or later. well, it will be in 5 years at the latest until i have my own income and career. and, more, i hope by taking industrial design i can make something before i graduate and earn lots of money from there.

my mom told me not to save money by reducing my meal portion. but, i think i will, tho! sorry mom :P

2010-09-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

I wonder why Christian and Islam are stereotyped to be always fighting despite the fact that they both are highly related and bonded?

2010-09-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

Again and again. Majority and minority.

Why does it have to be majority to take the power?
Why can they freely decide even if they're wrong?
Why can't they let minority have their right?
Why do they always abate minority's right and power?

Do we minority have the right to speak up?

We are voiceless.
We, minority, are powerless.
Rights seem to be just a formality.
An alibi to shadow the harassment against minority.

The third largest democracy huh?
I don't see Indonesia deserves the title.

Democracy is yet to learn.

2010-09-01T03:04:00.000-07:00

why won't you answer me?
your silence is slowly killing me.
girl your really got me bad.

i am in misery.

2010-08-31T11:22:00.000-07:00

Saya akan terus berupaya membangun negeri ini menjadi lebih baik sampai negeri ini dikuasai Syariat Islam atau syariat-syariat lainnya, karena di saat itulah sudah tidak ada penghargaan terhadap golongan lainnya.

2010-08-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

Di luar cita-cita seluruh rakyat Indonesia termasuk saya, yaitu berupa kesejahteraan ekonomi bagi seluruh rakyat, hanya ada satu cita-cita utama yang saya dambakan terhadap Indonesia: terhapusnya sekat-sekat pemisah antara suku, ras, dan agama. Negara ini bisa terbentuk karena adanya rasa persaudaraan antara tiap golongan masyarakat di seluruh Indonesia yang jumlahnya bukan hanya belasan atau puluhan, melainkan ratusan. Tanpa ada rasa persaudaraan itu negara ini tidak akan bisa terbentuk.

Namun sepertinya keadaan semakin memburuk. Saya heran, kenapa generasi muda sekarang bukannya menjadi semakin terbuka malah menjadi semakin konservatif. Mudah sekali diprovokasi dengan nama agama. Bisa-bisanya mengancam keamanan dan bahkan membunuh orang lain hanya karena mereka itu dibilang "kafir" oleh pemimpin agama mereka.

Etnis Tionghoa pun dianggap alien perusak bangsa - etnis minoritas dan pendatang yang harus diusir dari bumi Indonesia. Akan tetapi tidak hanya mereka para rasis pembenci etnis Tionghoa saja yang salah. Saya sebagai salah seorang dari etnis Tionghoa pun salah dan tidak kalah munafik karena selalu melabel orang-orang yang katanya penduduk asli Indonesia (padahal mereka pun pendatang) itu kotor dan bau.

Sejak kecil saya (mungkin teman-teman saya juga sama) sudah diajarkan bahwa kita berbeda. Kita Tionghoa dan mereka pribumi. Kita pintar mereka tidak pintar. Kita pintar berdagang mereka pemalas. Mungkin mereka pun sudah diajarkan bahwa mereka sopan kita tidak punya sopan santun. Mereka rendah hati kita sombong. Mereka tidak pelit kita pelit. Itulah yang tertanam di otak kita. Atau agama kitalah yang benar sementara mereka salah. Agama kitalah yang akan membawa kita ke surga sementara mereka tidak.

Akan tetapi, tinggal menjadi alien di Bandung di antara mereka pun memberikan saya pelajaran berharga. Kita sama. Betapa kita sama-sama membenci teroris yang memakai topeng Islam, sama-sama membenci FPI yang merusak mengatasnamakan Allah. Betapa kita sama-sama tidak suka dijelek-jelekan dan diperlakukan berbeda.

Sampai kapan kita akan melihat diri kita berbeda? Sampai kapan kita terus memperlebar jurang di antara kita? Berkata ini pun saya munafik karena saya, secara sadar ataupun tidak, juga rasis. Namun saya tidak mau melihat Indonesia terpecah belah hanya karena golongan tertentu yang memprovokasi untuk saling membenci. Oleh karenanya saya pun akan memperbaiki sikap saya dan meluruskan pandangan saya dari bias subjektivitas.

2010-08-31T10:04:00.000-07:00

Apakah kita punya hak menghakimi benar salah atau sesat tidak suatu kepercayaan? Bukankah itu hak Dia di atas sana karena Dialah yang memilih suka tidaknya dengan cara kita memuji dan memuliakan namaNya? Siapa sangka ketika di akhir zaman nanti umat yang kita injak-injaklah yang akan masuk ke Surga, Nirvana, Moksha atau apapun itu?

2010-08-24T11:40:00.000-07:00

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

- Marcus Aurelius

I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it.

- Audrey Hepburn

It’s always more intriguing to imagine what’s happening, as opposed to seeing everything because then you can use your imagination. I always wanted to be at a distance.

- Sofia Coppola

2010-08-23T10:42:00.000-07:00

Just watched the videos of the hijacked bus in Manila. 8 hostages died in that catastrophe.

There was a video showing the bus driver tried to escape from the bus and he did it. Glad that he successfully escaped. He did it for his life, for his safety. He must felt a great great relieve.

And.. the next video told me about the hijacker, who was a fired captain in the army, sprayed a gunfire. He killed some hostages.

What would I do if I was in that bus, and there was an option: I ran, and I was safe but others would be killed because my escape or I stayed, killed, and the others would be safe?

Never know the answer though. Answering it won't be as easy as doing it.

Anyway.. I am very sorry for the killed hostages. RIP.

2010-08-23T10:40:00.000-07:00

I have no problem with it. But it becomes a problem for me if others have a problem with it.

how can I get here?

2010-08-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

How can I get here? At this point of life.

I've been living for 18 years; well I'm still so young but there are lots of unlucky teens out there can't get reach this age - I got my right to be grateful. Coming from Lampung at the age of 8. Got into St. Laurensia and held back in the 3rd grade for another year since I was too young to get into 4th grade. Transformed to be a go-green boy in the 9th grade. Becoming a nationalist too a year later. Lately my religious view grew to be more moderate. Hating conservatives. Wanted to major Environmental Science in US in grade 11 after the soccer-player-dream. Confused. Altered to Urban Studies. Confused, again. It then became Hospitality. Again, confused. Now decided to take Industrial Design.

Targeted ITB. Went to Bandung for a month for drawing lesson. The test day came and failed. Depressed. Boosted. Back to Bandung for another lesson for 3 weeks, now, targeted Itenas. Accepted. And just a week ago doubted with my decision in taking industrial design.

I know my life is not that hard. I'm lucky enough to have a caring family, eat 3 times a day (or even more), healthy body, lots of friends, good school, good house, and more. There are millions of teens about my age or even younger who have no parents and have to grab a weapon to fight in a war; bloodlust. Or those living on the streets begging for money everyday and can't go to school and have a normal teen life. I'm lucky.

But that's why I am thinking.. just tell me how can I get here?

2010-08-21T08:47:00.000-07:00

Funny. I read an article titled: The government of Jakarta's promise to free Jakarta from flood is never committed.

Well, who dumb all those rubbishes to the river or water ditches or where-ever-you-want?! Who built illegal houses along the river bank?! Who concreted the entire house yard?!

Come on! The government can't do it alone!

saha nuhur festival: body painting

2010-08-18T22:28:00.000-07:00

saha nuhur festival: sea turtle release

2010-08-18T22:08:00.000-07:00

bandung

2010-08-18T21:39:00.000-07:00

Englishman In New York - Sting

2010-08-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

If, "Manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say

Modesty, propriety can lead to notoriety
You could end up as the only one
Gentleness, sobriety are rare in this society
At night a candle's brighter than the sun

Takes more than combat gear to make a man
Takes more than a license for a gun
Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can
A gentleman will walk but never run

If, "Manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say

I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York

A Love Letter To Indonesia

2010-08-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

Guys, read this. See how great Indonesia is and be proud to be Indonesian. Don't be so skeptical about Indonesia as we actually have an amazing and incredible country.

source: http://mojotrotters.com/2010/08/a-love-letter-to-indonesia/

You had me at “Selamat datang”.

We’ve been together for month now, and it’s time we had that talk. I don’t know where you see this going, but I could say “the hell with it” to the rest of my year-long trip and stay here with you.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. You didn’t really expect that, huh? Oh, stop giggling and listen.

Yes, you have beautiful beaches, scenic mountains, and hallowed temples, but it’s not just your body I fell in love with.

I feel really good with you. You treat me so well, and it’s not because of my money. Most times you don’t even ask for money. You just like being around me.

You give me a lift on a motorcycle in the rain then take me home to give me a dry shirt and some hot coffee. You talk to me on the train and take time off work the next day to show me around town. You teach me that it’s idiotic to keep a schedule, since you stop me every 30 meters to talk.

No, I don’t mind that you ask me 20 times a day where I’m from and how long I’ve been here. I don’t mind getting the occasional mouthful of truck exhaust and being nearly deafened by 100 passing motorbikes. You’re like a lover that farts in bed because she’s so comfortable and self-assured. You secretly know I’ll love you no matter what.

You don’t bother learning English because you’re too smart for that. You know that if I make the effort to speak your language, I’ll be rewarded in spades: a motorcycle ride through your narrow alleys, a free coconut sweet, your adorable laughter.

You’re religious, but not insufferably. You trim and mould religion to suit your lifestyle, not the other way around. You wear your Muslim headscarf with tight jeans and heels (and have no idea how confusingly hot that is). And you’re a good sport about it: you train monkeys to bow to Allah in town squares then poke them in the butt with a drumstick.

So you’re not exactly the best chef. Your food is good, but it can get pretty repetitive and sometimes outright disturbing. What the hell is this? A flattened and deep-fried lung? And yet, you manage to make me feel like a gastronomical Indiana Jones when your ugly streets explode to life with a million food stalls that tug me 10 different ways with their peanutty garlic grease.

But for God’s sake, go easy on the sugar. I can’t even taste the tea in this glass of diabetes. And do you have to smoke your clove cigarettes while you drive the bus? It’s not exactly well-ventilated in here.

Oh, whatever. Just go ahead, take my picture and add me on Facebook. I won’t understand anything you say there, but that’s ok. After all, our relationship is complicated.

2010-08-18T07:05:00.000-07:00

is it to respect yourselves or to abate our rights?

Si Jadul Bernama Budi Pekerti

2010-08-18T05:30:00.000-07:00

source: blogombal.org

Misalkan saya sedang berpuasa mungkin puasa saya batal gara-gara gangguan pagi hari tadi. Orang bilang itu soal sepele tapi nyatanya dalam sepuluh kilometer berikutnya saya masih membatin, tidak dapat menikmati radio, dan istri saya pun tak dapat mengajak bercakap lebih banyak.

Penyebabnya? Ketika mengedrop si sulung di pelataran sekolah maka saya pun mengantre. Saya tahu bahwa mobil depan berisi tiga anak.

Saya juga paham bahwa sebagian anak yang diantar tak diajari orangtuanya untuk berkemas sebelum turun. Akibatnya antrean pun menjadi lama gara-gara kedua nona kecil itu sibuk sebelum kaki menginjakkan tanah. Bahkan setelah di luar mobil pun masih sibuk ini dan itu padahal bawaanya tak seribet orang yang akan pergi sebulan.

Setelah dua anak usia SMP itu keluar, lalu melenggang meninggalkan Toyota Innova keperakan, giliran penumpang di jok depan. Tak terlihat sosoknya. Tapi pintu kiri sudah terbuka sejak mobil berhenti.

Saya masih sabar. Istri saya yang tak sabar, meminta saya mengklakson. Saya menolak. Ini di halaman sekolah dan mobil depan mungkin punya masalah.

Lama kelamaan antrean yang terlihat di spion saya kian panjang. Dan saya tahu, itu berarti buntutnya di jalan sana sudah menghambat bus kota, mobil penumpang, dan bahkan motor.

Saya kedipkan lampu. Tak ada reaksi. Klakson yang tinggal pencet bukanlah alasan untuk membunyikannya kapan pun. Saya minta istri memanggil satpamwan, empat meter dari posisi kami. Tapi sang satpamwan, yang setiap jam masuk dan bubar sekolah harus mengatir kendaraan, itu masih asyik ngobrol dengan seseorang sambil tertawa-tawa.

Antrean kian mengular. Dari belakang sudah terdengar suara klakson. Mobil depannya ikut berbunyi. Untung tak sampai bising.

Lantas saya pun berpikir kalau saya tak mengklakson, sementara si satpamwan tak peduli, maka sumbatan tak terbuka. Apa boleh bikin. Klakson pun saya bunyikan. Sekali. Dengan pencetan mengambang. Tak ada reaksi.

Saya keluarkan kepala dari mobil dengan harapan pengemudi mobil depan memahami masalah. Kaca mobilnya tetap tertutup. Saya klakson lagi. Seperti cara tadi. Tak ada reaksi. Saya ulangi lagi. Tak ada reaksi. Saya ulangi lagi.

Saya tahu mobil itu tidak mogok. Saya tahu, dan semua orang tahu, bahwa di sisi kiri ada tempat untuk berhenti lebih lama. Tapi tidak dia lakukan.

Akhinya keluarlah penumpang dari jok depan mobil itu. Seorang siswi SMA. Sambil berjalan dia bersungut-sungut, dan menengok ke arah saya dan istri, “Kan tas saya putus.”

Saya lihat tali tas Kipling hitamnya memang terlepas. Waduh Neng, kenapa nggak turun dari tadi, menepi, lantas bikin betul itu tali? Tali tas putus di sebuah pelataran sekolah telah merugikan pengguna jalan raya.

Mungkin saya berlebihan. Tapi dalam kesal, dan setelah meneruskan perjalanan, saya merenung dan jadilah judul di atas. Tentang kata lama bernama budi pekerti. Kata jadul. Sekarang pengucapnya akan dianggap aneh atau melucu.

Jalanan dan cara berkendara(an) adalah potret sosial kita. Misalnya menjalankan mobil secara pelan di lajur kanan, atau malah sekalian mengangkangi garis jalan, masih ditambah berhal-halo pula, bahkan ber-SMS. Sering kita jumpai, naik sepeda motor pun sambil SMS-an.

Mau tambah contoh? Lihatlah di dekat gerbang masuk mal dan hotel, ada saja mobil yang berhenti lama, dengan maupun tanpa lampu hazard, tapi jika mobilnya bagus maka satpam tak menghalau, karena mobil itu menunggu tuan dan nyonya yang tak segera keluar dari mal. Tuan, nyonya, dan nona sudah menelepon sopir sebelum tiba di pintu keluar tapi dalam perjalanan mereka tergoda etalase; itu pun sambil menelepon.

Saya rasa ada yang tak beres dalam masyarakat kita. Budi pekerti, yang salah satunya adalah kepatutan berperilaku dalam hubungannya dengan kepentingan orang lain, sudah tak dianggap penting.

Saya menduga salah satu sebab adalah kebingungan kita dalam menempatkan mana yang privat dan mana yang publik. Di rumah sendiri kita menjaga kebersihan selayaknya rumah sakit bagus, tetapi di ruang publik boleh semaunya karena merasa sudah ada petugas yang membersihkannya. Dalam bentuk yang sederhana: mobil sendiri harus bersih sehingga sampah harus dibuang ke luar tanpa hirau tempat.

Di sisi lain, sebagian dari kita lebih sibuk dengan kesalehan yang masih egosentris, kurang altruistis. Hubungan dengan yang Maha Tinggi lebih utama ketimbang urusan bersama di ruang publik — padahal mestinya paralel. Sebagai orang saleh sebagian dari kita menganggap pemerkosaan terhadap bahu jalan tol bukan dosa, begitu pula dengan menyerobot antrean di segala urusan — terlebih di lampu setopan.

Jangan-jangan korupsi pun tak dianggap dosa, apalagi jika pelakunya saleh dan sering menyumbang rumah ibadah, sehingga para pembimbing iman akan mengatakan, “Jangan menjadi hakim untuk perkara yang tidak kita ketahui. Saudara bukan KPK.”

Dalam sebuah obrolan, beberapa teman mengutamakan kesalehan pribadi (masing-masing sesuai Ajaran yang dianutnya), dan salah seorang dengan tegas mengatakan (kurang lebih), “Orang yang bener dalam kehidupan duniawi tapi jarang ke rumah ibadah, malah suka berselingkuh dan nonton striptis, maka dosanya berlipat. Kalau secara pribadi religius dan saleh tapi di luaran dianggap sering rugikan orang lain itu karena dia korban sistem, padahal sebagai orang hidup kita harus nyesuain diri sama masyarakat. Itulah gunanya beribadah.”

Saya bukan ahli surga dan neraka. Tapi bagi saya hubungan pramarital maupun ekstramarital itu urusan pribadi, tidak merugikan orang lain di luar pasangan itu. Yang merugikan orang lain, misalnya, ya itu tadi, orang yang sembarangan di jalan. :)

2010-08-14T02:48:00.001-07:00

As you pass from sunlight into darkness and back again every hour and a half, you become startlingly aware how artificial are thousands of boundaries we've created to separate and define. And for the first time in your life you feel in your gut the precious unity of the Earth and all the living things it supports.

— Russell 'Rusty' Schweikart, returning from Apollo 9

When old dreams die, new ones come to take their place. God pity a one-dream man.

— Esther Goddard, reading from her late husband's diary to the AP just prior to the launch of Apollo 11.

2010-08-13T11:04:00.000-07:00

this is one of the things i really am confused about women (maybe mostly indonesians and, well, some men do):

they really wanted to be slim, have a beautiful body, jealous with all the celebrities out there wondering why they have an amazing body. they know the answer which is having a regular exercise besides getting on diet. but, still, all they do is consuming a very small amount of food (without considering the lack of nutrition) and gossiping on PE class.

2010-08-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

I'm not good at acting. I just love being frank and blunt.

2010-08-13T04:20:00.000-07:00

i hate 'majority-minority' ' native-nonnative'

terry - janji manis

2010-08-13T01:48:00.000-07:00

oh dunia ini penuh kepalsuan
mungkinkah tiada keikhlasan
apakah ini suatu pembalasan
ku sadar kebesaranMu Tuhan
aku bagai seorang
kembara jalanan
terombang-ambing di lautan gelora
ku cari kebahagiaan
dan untuk menopang kasih
mungkinkah suratan
hidup kan selalu sendirian

hati membeku mengingatkan
kata janji manisMu
ku dilambung angan-angan
belaian kasih sayang suci dariMu
oh kejamnya
lidah tidak bertulang
ucapan cinta mengiris kalbu
ku kan pergi membawa diri
cinta di hati terkubur lagi

jika ku pahami mengapa terjadi
peristiwa pahit menggores hati
perjalanan hidup ini sudah tertulis
ku tempuhi dengan kesabaran
ku sadar kebesaranMu Tuhan

2010-08-12T10:23:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago Indonesians were shocked because of the picture of a Balinese underwater temple. Well, how could be there a temple built down there? Here is the picture.

Mostly, there were two reactions: first those who were amazed. second those who didn't believe it. Well, I can understand it. It's pretty impossible to build a temple down there. How could they put the bricks one by one at that place?

But there were two things that made me sad:
first: the minister of tourism didn't know about the temple and worse, he did NOT even believe it exists
second: it was built in 2005, and FUNDED by Australia, and Australian tourists have known it before it surprised Indonesians.

farewell

2010-08-12T10:01:00.000-07:00

After all the goodbyes, after we are scattered to all over the world, can we, all of us, 130-something of us, gather again in one place one day? I hope we can. I'll miss you guys. Goodluck there with your school, goodluck with your works, your career, your life. I wish you all the best. We will gather again one day. Bon courage :)

2010-08-12T09:25:00.000-07:00

Today really is a sad day. Idel, Carlo, Remon, Ernest, and Cimut just departed this afternoon to SF. It's really hard to hold back tears there at the airport since there were 5 of them would leave abroad.

And.. what makes it a sadder day.. my elementary PE teacher Pak Agus just died this evening because of heart attack.

Hearing the news just shocked me. He is a PE teacher (he supposed to be healthy), and still young.

As soon as I heard it, my memories just rewind to my childhood. The days when I was still in elementary, the days when he was still my PE teacher. I remember he shouted at us because we were so naughty. I remember we teased him Sugus, and he shouted as us and we ran away. After all, he was a really good teacher. I love sport so badly is because of him. He taught me a lot. He introduced me to soccer and put me into Loren Team, the team I played in for 8 years. All because of him.

But his death really reminds me that we can die anytime. And we never know it. I mean, the day went normal as if nothing was gonna happen. He was still teaching PE and trained the kids for Flag Ceremony for 17th of August. He died when he got home.

After all, we can do nothing about it. God has taken his soul back to heaven. He gives and He takes - it's what we always believe in.

I have a thought about death. Well, I'm may be too young to say this because I haven't experienced death of people around me enough. But what I'm thinking is that: just be grateful if the person dies. I mean, it means that his/her role in this world has done and it is the time for them to go back to the Owner. I'm not trying to be heartless. I know it will be frustrating if someone we love dies, but that faith will give us the power to let him/her go.

Well, may be I'm too naive to say that. May be.

I hope you can rest in peace, Pak Agus. May GOD accepts you in Heaven. Thank you for all your dedication for being a teacher. I really am sorry for our childhood menace. We will miss you :)

2010-08-12T09:17:00.000-07:00

"Wajah lama sudah tak keruan di kaca, sedang wajah baru belum jua jelas. Siapakah itu orang atau manusia Indonesia? Apakah dia memang ada? Di mana dia? Seperti apa gerangan tampangnya?"

Mochtar Lubis (alm)

2010-08-05T11:34:00.000-07:00

"Avatar changes people's heart.
He will defeat the Fire Nation with his heart"

- The Last Airbender

2010-08-04T01:25:00.000-07:00

This country is not just about your people.
We have more than 700 ethnic groups and beliefs.

Indonesia can't be led by a single belief and perspective.
Rules have to be made for all people in every single perspective - NOT just yours.

2010-08-03T10:51:00.000-07:00

i write a lot, but never finish it :(

2010-08-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

I just watched BBC Knowledge; it was talking about how our body ages. But, what surprised me was that the scientists are trying to manipulate our genes so that we can postpone our aging. Well, it didn't really surprise me that much since we will still decay eventhough our genes are mutated. What shocked me more was a scientist made a theory that we can reverse the aging gene and make our decayed body grow young again. And it will make us immortal of aging. How long? 100 years? 1000 years? No. Even a couple thousand of years.

There is something interesting at the end of the show. The host, holding a yellow potion in a bottle, calling it the anti-aging potion, asked random people one question: do you want to drink this?

Some people said: yes, it would be interesting!
Others said: it might be interesting. but, no. I'm sick of this life.
When he came to young people, they say an absolute no.

But, there was one person said an intriguing answer:

no, I won't. What makes this life incredible is that we will die. If we are immortal, this life will be meaningless.

2010-07-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

What is a perfect life?

May be.. it's to have someone.. to take care of us.. forever

-Thai Insurance

2010-07-18T08:58:00.000-07:00

Jai, Windi, and I went to Central Park, one of the latest mall in Jakarta, this afternoon. It was the first time I been there.

My first impression: huge, god-y, fancy.

I must admit that it is well-designed. The huge and fancy mall, plus, what makes it special, the park.

It has a very beautiful park.

However, in spite of its beauty, one thing tickled me:

Why do we have to go to mall to enjoy this kind of beautiful and soothing park? Why can't we just have freely, a public-park? Or, aside from Benton Junction, why do we have to go to a mall to sit, relax, and hang out at an open cafe like in downtown walk at SMS? Most importantly, WHY do all we have is mall?!

Opening public parks or open cafes in public areas will make Jakarta a better city, tho.

Anyway by Mother Teresa

2010-07-17T21:28:00.001-07:00

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

2010-07-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

If you can't get what you want
Then you come with me

Up on melancholy hill
A manatee
Just looking out on the day
When you're close to me

gorillaz - on melancholy hill

2010-07-12T07:16:00.001-07:00

my brother said this yesterday when we were talking about finding-myself and i think it's pretty interesting:

our true self is when we are as pure as a newborn baby. even if we are trying to find ourselves, right now, it is not the truest since we are influenced by our environment and circumstances.

it is the most idealistic point of view, however, it is true.

2010-07-12T05:42:00.000-07:00

home home home.. i wish i could stay at home longer..

2010-07-05T09:40:00.001-07:00

I AM ADMITTED AT ITENAS!! YAYAYAYAYYY!!! finally i feel like i've graduated!! :P:P

but.. to be honest.. i don't know why.. it's either because my friend had told me before i read the announcement by myself, or because i still can't let ITB go.. i'm not that satisfied..

after all, i don't care as long as i still get the 1st quality of school. prestige does not matter. i believe that this is the best place for me. GOD has bigger plan on me :P

soo... i gotta prepare for the first year, the hardest 2 semesters, for a month at bandung again. i just have to work hard!! :D

2010-06-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

Why cry for those who have reached the finish line of their journey?

2010-06-21T06:18:00.000-07:00

Though it is as difficult as shooting an arrow through the eye of a single needle in a towering forest of them.. as long as I keep forcing.. I CAN do it! Bring it on!

2010-06-09T09:01:00.001-07:00

COLDPLAY - FIX YOU

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Damn.. this Coldplay song is just unbeatable! Gives me such a hope and strength to keep going on. How I love this song... :D

2010-06-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

Yea rite.. I lose my biggest gamble ever. I was like a millionaire coming to Vegas with such a confidence, gambling all my wealth in a game, a big, big, game. But it seemed to be not the right time. I lose. It is my biggest lost. My worst failure.

My parents have been supporting me greatly, they took me to Bandung every weekend so that I could learn from my uncle. They had spent lots of money so that I could study in the best course, rented a good room. My uncle, he had spent a day so that he could teach me in his very busy days. He put me into the best course. He helped with the administrations. He has high expectation on me. My best friends, they have been supporting me. And I have lost a month with them in the last days before they moved. My families, they have been praying for me and supporting me. My teacher, he had taught me and support me every single day, for 10 hours or even more a day, he has considered me as his own family. Everyone has high expectations on me.

And with this failure, I have disappointed lots of people, my parents, my uncle, my best-friends, my teacher, my families.

I feel so dumb, stupid. All one month I've spent, gone futile. I've tried my best but I can't make it. Dumb.

Well.. enough with that all negative-minded thingies. Let's just be POSITIVE :D

I failed in ITB.. So what?! I still have ITENAS to try. If I failed, then I just have to try harder! It might not as well-known as ITB, but it has a better quality. F**k prestige. ITB is just too low for me :P

And, anyway, the one month I've spent, is priceless. I've improved my skill much much better that before. Much more important than that, I got a new great FAMILY. My teachers are just like my parents, my friends are my brothers and sisters.

So.. why should I give a damn to this one little failure? :P

2010-06-08T09:26:00.000-07:00

what the world would be if we don't know GOD, or any supreme-being in our life?

just see how chaotic USA is..

Live Curious - National Geographic

2010-06-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

I just noticed the Live Curious campaign of National Geographic. And it is great!

If you are, you breath.
If you breath, you talk.
If you talk, you ask.
If you ask, you think.
If you think, you search.
If you search, you experience.
If you experience, you learn.
If you learn, you grow.
If you grow, you wish.
If you wish, you find.
If you find, you doubt.
If you doubt, you question.
If you question, you understand.
If you understand, you know.
If you know, you want to know more...
And if you want to know more, you are alive...

2010-06-08T05:52:00.001-07:00

two more days until the day that will make my future!

i'm feeling fine.. just a very tiny bit of me is tense..
pretty sure that i WILL pass..

well.. hope so :P

2010-06-07T10:20:00.000-07:00

I hate it when everything has been bounded by race and religion since the first time I get into a new society.

the last supper

2010-06-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

These are what I did today..

went home at 12.30s,
woke up at 5.45,
went to church till 8,
had my breakfast,
slept at 9,
woke up at 11.30
had my hair cut,
ate my lunch,
slept at 1 pm,
opened my eyes at 3 pm,
checked my messanger for a sec,
slept again 3.30s,
woke up at 5.30s
went downstairs to have dinner,
now, online,
later, off to bed again.

sooo unproductive!

but.. I did really have a great time the night before! I had BBQ with my 'family' of Red Apple. Preparing it from 3 till 7. We joked around and laughed a lot while preparing and cooking stuffs. And we had more laughter when we BBQed the food! It was really fun!

We also gave a chocolate cake for our beloved teacher, Ms. Ling. We have considered her as our second mom. I've been with her since 10 years ago, the first time I moved here. Or even tata, cumi, and vinnie who have been taught since 12 years ago. Since we're so small, till we have graduated from high school.

Next, after finished having dinner at Ms.Ling house, we went karaokeing for 2 hours! We had a lot of fun that we lost our voice! :D

I could hardly stay awake today and lose my voice!

missing bandung

2010-05-31T08:42:00.000-07:00

Damn.. I remember the first time my uncle told me to join the art course for a month, I agreed half-heartedly. I tried to delayed my departure to Bandung, and I hated the moment I was there.

But now.. I MISS Bandung! I miss the class, I miss my teachers, I miss my friends!

I really grateful that my uncle sent me there. Not just that I'm more skillful, but also, the most important, I got new family out there. My friends has become like my brothers, my teachers are just like my dad and mom. It was really sad the moment we said goodbye to them.

us, in hamster version, drawn by puput.
but unfortunately there's no kines yet there.

and there is always beautiful view out there.
beautiful sky, clouds, sunsets, stars, mountains, and the city of Bandung

me, putra, bima, and kines while hanging out

the moment we said goodbye, last photo

I just can't wait to see them again!

write the future

2010-05-31T06:16:00.000-07:00

I definitely love this Nike's commercial! Everyone agrees that it is the best of Nike ever.

I mean, it is not just the acts and the way it is made which are cool, but also the philosophy of it. It is not just an ad for promoting Nike. There is a much deeper meaning in it.

My favorite scene is Rooney's. He did a mistake and thought how the future would be - people hate them, England Roo-ins, stock market dived, and lose his job. But when he realized that it should not happen, he ran after Ribery with all the power he had and tackled him - saving England from losing. Then the future changed, people loved him, hailed him, got the 'Sir' prefix, and all babies were named Wayne.

Writing the future. I bet all people want it - writing our future the way we like. It seems impossible but we actually able to do it. We just need more effort just like Carnavaro, Rooney, Ronaldinho, and Ronaldo did.

It reminded me of the ITB test I just did yesterday. For 6 months it haunted me. And at the last month, I practiced as much as possible, while imagined becoming a proud ITB student, making my parents, my family, my uncles proud of me, doing all the tasks well, get high scores, graduate and becoming a great designer.

Well, I've done the first step. Let see how it will be :P

2010-05-23T07:04:00.000-07:00

Our high school could have been much more beautiful if we let go our ego back then.

Anak Langit

2010-04-21T06:14:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, me and Windi, Rezki, and Bu Ivon went to a community called Anak Langit. It is actually a kind of Foundation, founded by 12 people who are an artist, musician, doctor, translator, etc, 7 years ago. They gathered with one dream: making a free education for poor kids whose parents can' afford formal school. They have a concept that I really like: humanizing humans by creative education. I definitely love the touch. So far, we are stuck at the concept of formal education. That to learn, we must learn from a teacher who can't be criticized. That we have to go to school with text books and uniform, sit in the class with the books and listen to teachers. But, unlike any common concept, the Anak Langit Family treat the children like their family - calling them 'adik' and the children call them 'kakak' or 'mbah'. They train the children to do creative works, they make recycled-robots, paintings, music instruments from recycled stuffs, painting white shoes, and others. They often won competitions of recycling things, music concert, and also invitation to play in a art show. Or, they sell the creative works of their children to expand their family. There is even a boy who joined Silat workshop and now has become a national athlete. The children are also taught by proper Islam that they become so polite.

Going there changed my perspective of them. Before, what in my mind is a dirty place under a fly-over, uneducated children, and other bad-minds of mine. But, as soon as I reached the place, I was shocked. Located on a river bank, I thought that it would be dirty, smell bad, lots of rubbishes. Yet, I was totally mistaken. It was clean, green, and beautiful. I could even find no rubbish besides leaves on the ground. They also put the children artworks around the place - making it more beautiful. Started with just one tree, they now have uncountable trees around the area.

What makes it even more special is that the people. They were just going to do a shalat when we arrived there. So, we waited for around 20 minutes on a gazebo after greeted by Kak Edi, one of the founders. As we waited for them, I looked around the place. It somehow felt very peaceful. The sun at that time was very hot. But, while looking around, I didn't feel hot at all. Instead, under the shadows of the trees and people reciting prayers, what I felt is nothing but peace.I was amazed. Not just me, but also Rezki and Windi. Even when Kak Edi was explaining about Anak Langit, we felt like.. we were nothing compared to them. With all the arrogance we brought before we came in, we've been judging them ONLY based on treasure. We felt superior just because we have more money than them. We was ashamed.

I felt what I never feel before: the true spirit of Indonesians - family and togetherness. I could even feel that they are, strangers, my family.

Okay, here are some pics I took..

2010-04-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

...
How can you - a cleric - be so open-minded? I asked
"Look. I know what I believe. It's in my soul. But I constantly tell our people: you should be convinced of the authenticity of what you have, but you must also be humble enough to say that we don't know everything, we must accept that another person may believe something else."
He sighed.
"I'm not being original here, Mitch. Most religions teach us to love our neighbor."

I thought about how much I admired him at that moment. How he never, even in private, even in old age, tried to bully another belief, or bad-mouth someone else's devotion. And I realized I had been a bit of coward on this whole faith thing. I should have been more proud, less intimidated. I shouldn't have bitten my tongue. If the only thing wrong with Moses is that he's not yours; if the only thing wrong with Jesus is that he's not yours; if the only thing wrong with mosques, Lent, chanting, Mecca, Buddha, confession, or reincarnation is that they're not yours - well, maybe the problem is you.

One more question? I asked the Reb.
He nodded.
When someone from another faith says, "God bless you," what do you say?
"I say, "Thank you, and God bless you, too."
Really?
"Why shouldn't I?"
I went to answer and realized I had no answer. No answer at all.

Your Faith, My Faith

2010-04-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

Another great message from Have A Little Faith :P

...
"Ask yourself, 'why did God create but one man?" the Reb said, wagging a finger. "Why, if he meant for there to be faiths bickering with each other, didn't he create that from the start? He created trees, right? Not one tree, countless trees. Why not the same with man?
"Because we are all from that one man - and all from that one God. That's the message."
Then why, I asked, is the world so fractured?
"Well, you can look at it this way. Would you want the world to all look alike? No. The genius of life is its variety.
"Even in our own faith, we have questions and answers, interpretations, debates. In Christianity, in Catholicism, in other faiths, the same thing - debates, interpretations. That is the beauty. It's like being a musician. If you found the note, and you kept hitting that note all the time, you would go nuts. It's the blending of the different notes that makes the music."
The music of what?
"Of believing in something bigger than yourself."
But what if someone from another faith won't recognize yours? Or wants you dead for it?
"That is not faith. That is hate." He sighed. "And if you ask me, God sits up there and cries when that happens."

Reading this conversation made me recalled what Albert Einstein once said. He was asked whether science could explain everything in this universe. Einstein answered: "Yes, but it is just as boring as explaining Beethoven's symphony with the physic's theory of pressure and so on."

The beauty of life is that the sensation of knowing something greater than us. The mystery of something Supreme. And what makes it even more wonderful is that we have our own ways in explaining and worshiping that Supreme Being. Yet, despite the diversity of beliefs and religions, we come from one God.

The Road Not Taken

2010-04-18T20:22:00.000-07:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted If I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost

we worship the same GOD.

2010-04-18T09:24:00.000-07:00

Before moving to Serpong, my mom and one of the priest in my church reminded me to be careful because I was about to get into a Catholic school. They warned me that we have different religion, tho with the same God, but they have different ways in worshiping God. Not knowing anything, I just accepted everything they said.

However, the first year in Laurensia was really a great lesson in introducing Catholic to me. I was surprised about the making of a cross before and after a prayer, about Holy Mary prayer, a different kind of Our Father prayer, the ceremony, the congregation, and lots more. We had a mass for every 3-4 months and some religion ceremonies like Ash Wednesday, Easter Day, Christmas Day, and others.

And as I grow up, I make up my own principle and way of thinking.

Last Easter, I went to Santo Laurensius Catholic Church 400 meters away from my house. I've been going there 3 times with my friends. It somehow has been our tradition to go to church together every Easter. Each time I got home, my mom would asked: what did you do there? And warned me about all the differences between Protestant and Catholic. However, I always said, "It doesn't matter, Mom! The hell should we take care about that?! We worship the same God!" And she would argued, "no! You don't understand! We ARE different!"

Then, I would shut my mouth. Better not arguing with her since it would be a waste as she would not understand.

For me, religion is just a status. Well, not an ID-kind-of-status. I mean, I choose to be Protestant because, first, I do believe in Jesus Christ. Second, I believe that all we should worship is God and no else, including Mary, or our ancestors. Third, I believe that once we dead, it is all about heaven and hell and there's nothing else.

BUT, if it is the matter of different co-religions like Catholic, Orthodox, Jew, or even different religions such as Islam, Buddha, or others, I do NOT bother. I don't care if I pray at a Catholic church, or even at a mosque. I don't care if I make a cross before or after a prayer. I don't care if I receive a blessing from a Hajj.

I will follow Buddhists way in not killing animal, even an insect, since I believe it is a good way in respecting God's creatures. I will not bother fasting with other Muslims because I believe it really is good to strain our worldly desires.

I believe we worship the same God. It's that just people have their own way in worshiping God. I believe that God won't care if a Christian kneel like a Muslim to worship him. I believe that God won't care if a Christian pray at a Mosque and so with Muslim praying at a church. What God cares is to whom we worship. He will be angry if worship money, or drugs, or other worldly things.

Why should we bother? STOP prejudices!!

2010-04-18T07:36:00.000-07:00

"Saya sadar bahwa saya akan tenggelam. Namun, biarkan saya rela tenggelam, agar rakyat Indonesia dengan demikian tetap bersatu, tidak terpecah belah."

- Ir. Soekarno

2010-04-18T07:33:00.001-07:00

"Bukan saja bangsa Indonesia bertuhan, tetapi masing-masing orang Indonesia hendaknya bertuhan Tuhannya sendiri."

- Ir. Soekarno, Lahirnya Pancasila 1 Juni 1945

secret of happiness

2010-04-18T06:09:00.000-07:00

I guess I'll really write much about Have A Little Faith in this blog. This is the second wisest book I've ever read after Mitch Albom's first book - Tuesdays With Morrie. I definitely love this book.

So, this time Mitch and his rabbi were talking about happiness after seeing an ad about pill that can cure desperation. Mitch asked his rabbi, the Reb, about what makes a man happy.

...
"Now, that child," he said, " reminds of something our sages taught. When a baby comes into the world, its hands are clenched, right? Like this?"
He made a fist.
"Why? Because a baby, not knowing any better, wants to grab everything, to say, 'The whole world is mine.'
But when an old person dies, how does he do so? With his hands open. Why? Because he has learned the lesson."
What lesson? I asked.
He stretched open his empty fingers.
"We can take nothing with us."

...

So, have solved the secret of happiness?
"I believe so," he said.
Are you going to tell me?
"Yes. Ready?"
Ready.
"Be satisfied."
That's it?
"Be grateful."
That's it?
"For what you have. For the love you receive. And for what God has given you."
That's it?
He looked me in the eye. Then he sighed deeply.
"That's it."

It really is the secret of happiness. We'll never be happy when we always desire more and more while we've had enough already. Be satisfied for small things. Be grateful for anything we have. Then we'll be able to feel really great and happy when we get more than we have - but not craving for more.

The Reb, at that time, was lying in the hospital bed fighting against his lung cancer. Talking with trailing voice and his hand trembling. But, still, he was able to sing to anyone and made them happy even to strangers. In the morning prayer, he always said: "Thank you, Lord, for returning my soul to me."

Kaffee Hausen Sinou

2010-04-18T04:28:00.000-07:00

with my friends @Kaffee Hausen Sinou

my cafe au lait

heaven choco waffle

peach french toast

strawberry pancake

I reallyyy loved the place and all the food!! thanks agita for taking us there! :D hahahaha

how do you know God exists?

2010-04-18T02:53:00.000-07:00

It is a common question and frequently asked by people yet, so far, never had I found an answer good enough to explain it: "how do you know God exists?" Until I read the conversation of Mitch Albom and his former rabbi in his book - Have A Little Faith.

How do you know God exists?
He stopped. A smile crept across his face.
"An excellent question."
He pressed his fingers into his chin.
And the answer? I said.
"First, make the case against Him.

Okay, I said, taking his challenge. How about this? We live in a world where your genes can be mapped, where your cells can be copied, where your face can be altered. Heck, with surgery, you can go from being a man to being a woman. We have science to tell us of the earth's creation; rocket probes explore the universe. The sun is no longer a mystery. And the moon-which people used to worship? We brought some of it home in a pouch, right?
"Go on," he said.
So why, in such a place, where the once-great mysteries have been solved, does anyone still believe in God or Jesus or Allah or Supreme Being of any kind? Haven't we outgrown it? Isn't it like Pinocchio, the puppet? When he found he could move without his strings, did he still look the same way at Geppetto?

...

He leaned in. "Now. My turn. Look, if you say that science will eventually prove there is no God, on that I must differ. No matter how small they take it back, to a tadpole, to an atom, there is always something they can't explain, something that created it all at the end of the search.
"And no matter how far they try to go the other way-to extend life, play around with genes, clone this, clone that, live to one hundred and fifty-at some point, life is over. And then what happens? When life comes to an end?
I shrugged.
"You see?"
He leaned back. He smiled.
"When you come to the end, that's where God begins."

I think the question is well answered.

2010-04-15T08:39:00.001-07:00

There's one subject in my school that I think it is really good, the one that should be applied in each school - Religiosity, especially this year with its teacher, Pak Marcel. It is actually the branch of Catholic Class. Since there are lots of students in my school who are not Catholic, the school try to make it democratic and the result is this class.

It talks about the universal value of religions and morals. I am very happy to be able to take this kind of class since it is very useful that we can discuss and share our thoughts and experiences. Besides, in my mind, Catholic Class is useless and somewhat hypocrite. All it does is memorizing about Church, its sacraments, Bible, and so on. And there's only one thing is true: what the Catholic says. We don't have a chance to argue. So, in the end, it's futile and just pass by in our mind without really absorbing it with our heart.

In the other hand, it is really different with the Religiosity Class, especially this year. We discuss, we share, we learn about universal value and moral. No one is absolutely right or definitely wrong. Well, the first and second year was quite the same like Catholic Class, tho it was still better, since the teachers are Catholic-based. But with Pak Marcel, we were guided to be able to speak up. He himself never judge our opinion is wrong. Nor does he never put himself in the most righteous position. He talks like us, ordinary person doing the same sins and mistakes. Unlike those of Catholic-based teacher who act like they are holy persons and we are sinners.

I always loved the discussions and shares. We talked about how we see homosexuals, prostitution, injustice, poor people, even we talked about porn stuffs and masturbation. He is open-minded and not judgmental.

There, we learn how we should be an open-minded person in this life. Accepting new things and opinions and approve or decline it without judging whether or not it is right.

I learn that it is the best way in educating and build up people's mental and character to accept diversity, moreover for Indonesia-kind of country which is ultimately diverse.

2010-04-15T06:59:00.000-07:00

Now, for I've been schooling for 15 years and it has ended.. a question pops up in my mind: what did I go to school for?

For 15 years of my school, I just found the answer in the last year which is this year. Well, it is my own answer based on my characteristic and way of thinking.

For almost 15 years I studied hard, struggling for good grades and trying to be an outstanding student. I memorized all the lessons, practiced, and worked hard on every test. All are for good grades. But, now, I found it useless and it is not the real goal of studying at school.

Grade, which is more than 90% of students, teachers, and parents are looking for, doesn't matter. What matters is how we, with a good morale, behavior, characteristic, and intelligently survive in this harsh world and how we make a better life for ourselves and, especially, others who are not as lucky as we are. That's why we go to school; to gather knowledge and experience as much as possible and becoming a critical-thinking and ethical person. We also built relationships and friendships for our future. To find true friends that will help and support us later when we find ourselves struggling hardly for our life.

So, in the end, what for is chasing for grades by memorizing lessons and so on if later we will forget it? It's better that we can understand the whole thing of it well (understand well doesn't always mean getting good scores at tests) and apply it in our life later. I mean, it feels really great when we can understand lots of things happening in the world. For example, Indonesia is intersected by 3 major plates that it commonly shocked by earthquakes and sometimes crashed by Tsunami. Lots of Indonesians are afraid to go to beaches because of that. But it doesn't mean that every part of Indonesia has a chance to be badly damaged by earthquakes and Tsunami. Studying geography makes me understand that parts like East Sumatra and Borneo and north of Java are safe from it. Why do we have to be fearful? So, it is the understanding of the concept of lessons that we got is what will be used in life.

That's why I don't really care with the National Exam's questions. All I want to know is the reasons why recent things could happen.

Well, it is just my point of view.

2010-04-15T06:15:00.000-07:00

For 15 years I've been going to school, from the kindergarten to the 12th grade of high school and today is the last day of my high school. I spent the last 10 years of it in Santa Laurensia, the school which, for me, is very great and one of the best in Indonesia. Well, most of my friends said that this school sucks, hell, hot (since there's no air-conditioner), and so on. But, for me, who comes from small city like Lampung, I am very grateful to be able to study there.

It is the school that opens my mind and knowledge to the world. I wouldn't have been able to be a critical person, a sensible, and environmentally and socially aware if I were still in Lampung. Maybe, if I hadn't moved to Jakarta, I might have been a typical ignorant teenager who only wants fun instead of hardships and struggles. And it is the real school unlike any other school whom students are easy to miss classes, teachers don't care when their students break rules, relatively easy assignments and tests, and ignorant teachers who don't even care with their class. I mean, Santa Laurensia really makes up my characteristic into the way I am today.

There are lots of things that Santa Laurensia school has that others don't. Like, lack of seniority, study tours (tho other schools start doing it, but we're one of the pioneers :P), projects and experiments, outdoor activities, beautiful trees, vast open-field, and so on.

It really makes me sad to leave this school soon. I'll miss it!!